t____ 

A man who is looking for a man

My Vitals:

Age: 40, Height: 5' 09" (175 cm), Weight: 140 lbs (64 kg)

Where I Live:

 USA  >>  New Jersey  >>  Rural Area

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Interested in meeting new people, not for hookups I`ll try to describe myself as best as I can, although it may be in a very random fashion. I`m a Biology major at TCNJ. I don`t have a big social life. I`m not very materialistic, selfish, or wild. I`m not very effeminate or anything. I am introversive, very sensitive, giving, kind, minimalist, honest, proactive, supportive, liberal, loving, and strange. I`m very much governed by reason, and what I mean by that is I do what I feel is right regardless of difficulty or difference from others. I`m not into conformity. I`m a thinker, and I have very strong opinions and beliefs about subjects which I`ve already considered. This all isn`t to say that I can`t have fun. I can be a very fun person. I`m also a curious person, and not very shallow. By the way, to make things easier and so I don`t have to pay, anyone who wants to talk can e-mail or IM me on my AOL account. My screen name is the same as my member name here, so my e-mail address is TaylorCayes at AOL dot com ([email protected]). Just in case anyone wants to understand more about me, I`ll add some applicable lyrics from my favorite singer, Alanis Morissette. Enjoy: "I`ll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it. I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it. You can speak of anger and doubts... Your fears and freak-outs and I`ll hold it. . . You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give. You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have. . . This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is. . . You can even hit rock bottom, have a midlife crisis and I`ll hold it." "I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful... So unloved for someone so fine... I can feel so boring for someone so interesting... So ignorant for someone of sound mind." "And although I have ached, I don`t threaten anybody." "How dare I ignore an outstretched hand? How dare I ignore a third-world country?" "I too thought that when proved wrong I lost somehow. I too once thought life was cruel." "I recommend walking around naked in your living room." “All I really want is some peace, man¬Ö A place to find a common ground. . . All I really want is some comfort¬Ö A way to get my hands untied¬Ö And all I really want is some justice…” “I’m broke but I’m happy. . . I’m tired but I’m working, yeah¬Ö I care but I’m restless. . . I’m free but I’m focused. . . I’m hard but I’m friendly, baby…” “I don’t want to live on someday when my motto is last week.” “I am a man who still does what he can¬Ö To dispel our archaic reputation.” “We’d all slow down¬Ö Rest without guilt¬Ö Not lie without fear¬Ö Disagree sans jugement. We would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and open and reach out and speak up. This is utopia¬Ö This is my utopia¬Ö This is my ideal, my end in sight. . . We’d open our arms¬Ö We’d all jump in. We’d all coast down into safety nets. We would share and listen and support and welcome. . . We would breathe and be charmed and amused by difference, be gentle and make room for every emotion. . . We’d all speak out. We’d all be heard. We’d all feel seen. We’d rise post-obstacle, more defined, more grateful, we would heal, be humbled and be unstoppable. We’d hold close and let go and know when to do which. We’d release and disarm and stand up and feel safe.” Wow. How do I begin such a monumental undertaking? I`m looking for someone to have a relationship with, because I`m ultimately looking for that special person for me. However, if it doesn`t turn out that way I`m OK with it. We can just be friends and I don`t expect an angel out of everyone I meet. I could always use more friends. Well, I`ll start out by saying that I`d prefer someone introversive, sensitive, kind, generous, musical, artistic, intelligent, wise, modest, minimalist, honest, funny, attractive, supportive, open-minded, and loving. I don`t want a person who is materialistic, selfish, extravagant, or arrogant. For the rest, I think I`d do best by quoting my favorite singer, Alanis Morissette: "Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds? Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition? Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know that it alone does not equate wisdom? Do you see everything as an illusion buy enjoy it even though you are not of it? Are you both masculine and feminine?. . . These are. . . things that I want in a lover... Not necessarily needs, but qualities that I prefer... Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom? Are you funny... a la self-deprecating? Like adventure and have many formed opinions...?. . . Are you uninhibited in bed...? More than three times a week...? Up for being experimental...? Are you athletic? Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? Are you not addicted...? Are you curious and communicative?" "I was hoping... I was hoping we could heal each other. I was hoping... I was hoping we could be raw together. . . I was hoping... I was hoping we could challenge each other. I was hoping... I was hoping we could crack each other up." "Let`s discuss things in confidence. Let`s be outspoken. Let`s be ridiculous. Let`s solve the world`s problems." "And all I need now is intellectual intercourse... A soul to dig the whole much deeper..." "I don`t want to be the filler if the void is solely yours. I don`t want to be your glass of single malt whiskey hidden in the bottom drawer. . . Lend me some fresh air. I don`t want to be adored for what I merely represent to you. I don’t want to be your babysitter. You’re a very big boy now. I don’t want to be your mother. I didn’t carry you in my womb for nine months. . . I don’t want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face at midnight. Hey, what are you hungry for? I don’t want to be the glue that holds your pieces together. I don’t want to be your idol. See, this pedestal is high and I’m afraid of heights. I don’t want to be lived through¬Ö A vicarious occasion¬Ö" “You’re my best friend¬Ö Best friend with benefits…” “Hopeful, you are. . . Driven, you are. . . Precious, you are…” “You’ll complete me, right? Then my life can finally begin.”

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